-the Evolution of Dona Tumacder-Esteban
Part 1
By Denise C.S. Gonzales-Bernardo
February 15, 2023
Some of you may have first met Dona in a Mommymundo bazaar circa 2008 with her brand of onesies, Say One Word. These off-white onesies were selling like pancakes! They were made of natural, unbleached cotton (a pioneer in the natural fabric line during that time) and had words like Love, Peace, Joy, Hope and Blessing printed on them, promoting the idea of the power of words for healing and growth. Dona was a new mama to her daughter Carmen in addition to being a yoga teacher, dancer and healer. She has continued to evolve as a woman and mother through the years.
MOTHERING A BABY VS. PARENTING A TEEN
Now a mother of a teenager, Dona shares that the biggest difference in parenting a teenager compared to parenting a baby is the quality and quantity of physical presence. Mothering a baby meant having her little one attached to her most of the day- breastfeeding and babywearing, diapers and sleepless nights. We all know that too well.
At 14, the tables have turned as Carmen is now individuating and experimenting with different ways of being. One thing that is constant though is establishing that when Carmen needs her mom, she knows where to find her. Mom will always be her safe space. Consent and boundaries have always been respected in their household. These days, for example, Carmen makes sure to remind her mom to knock before entering her room. As challenging as this may be for parents, this is a something that Dona celebrates as well because she can see how she has instilled these values in her daughter. When they are in heated discussions, she reminds Carmen that this is her first time parenting and that this is also the first time Carmen is consciously embodying what it means to be a daughter so they have to be patient, compassionate and kind with each other. Dona has noticed that Carmen is still navigating the in-between zone of being a child and being a teenager. One of the plus sides of the pandemic is that Dona feels that her daughter got to stay younger longer because there was much less influence of social media and peer pressure.
EMBODIMENT, ENERGY MANAGEMENT and INDIGENOUS WISDOM
Beyond motherhood, Dona envisions a world where we can all become more of who we truly are – fully, fiercely, unapologetically. Dona wears her hair in a braid almost daily to represent three vital strands in her life, as inspired by one of her mentors Carol Cano M.A. who founded Braided Wisdom, a cross-cultural mindfulness organization.
Dona’s passions are Embodiment, including dance as a healing art, yoga and menstrual cycle awareness. These have been the foundations of how she lives her life. She also puts great emphasis on Energy Management, something many women need to become aware of, because we tend to give more than what we have. She shares this through high performance corporate workshops and one-on-one coaching on women’s whole-being. Another aspect that is of great importance to Dona is Indigenous Wisdom with Nature as her teacher and a weekly circle of women Elders as her guides. Braiding these three strands, Dona invites us to become more in tune with who we are and build our capacity so we can fully embody our highest future potential and become responsible ancestors for future generations.
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