“Books that changed my life”

ADVERSITY QUOTIENT by Dr. Paul Stoltz

Problems are always and will always be a part of our life. It can be something from our mistakes and failures, from people, challenges and circumstances. This book taught me how to respond not just to problems but to changes. I like the worksheet that dissects the way I respond to unexpected turnouts, problems and changes. It measures your C.O.R.E. (Control, Origin and Ownership, Reach, and Endurance). The book taught me clarity in times of adversity. And you know what? I still read it once in a while and it gives me a fresh take in handling things.

BOOK OF FIVE RINGS by Miyamoto Musashi

This book is probably one of those that I read back in college from cover to cover in a short amount of time. The book has such a great impact that I have different copies with different book cover designs. I even named my cat Sashi (after the author). You see, Miyamoto Musashi is a strategist and was hailed as the greatest swordsman. The book struck me with being real with weaknesses, facing your enemies by getting to know them. Dito ko nakuha yung “Big things are made up of small things.” 

Musashi’s principle in swordsmanship elaborates on the five attitudes. Essentially, it tells us that each gesture, anything we say, our actions should be geared towards a purpose. Anything else burdens that purpose towards our goals. This book encapsulates those books on good habits, mindfulness, mastering your craft, and growth. Musashi said, “The way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.” It spoke to me as I deal with daily struggles, disappointments, and setbacks. But the author says, should we struggle, it has to be with a decisive attitude. Then we get the habit of getting back on our feet until we reach a habit of winning our battles. All that Musashi mentioned carried me through college, work, motherhood, and business.

The Heart’s Invisible Furies by John Boyne

It’s the only book I’ve read thrice and each time I do, I cry. It cracks me wide open everytime and makes me think about decency, justice, and forgiveness. I don’t know how else to explain it, but I guess the book speaks to me because decency and justice are the things I value most (I learned this after finishing my Brené Brown Dare to Lead course).

THE FOUR AGREEMENTS by Don Miquel Ruiz 

I read this in 2002 just as I had graduated from college. I was looking for a job and didn’t really know what I wanted. While this book didn’t really tell me what to do, it did tell me “HOW” to live my life. Practicing the Four Agreements—be impeccable with your word, don’t take anything personally, don’t make assumptions, always do your best—at that stage in my life helped me glide through life’s many challenges, if not provide actual stepping stones out of a rut. Twenty years on, these four agreements have become so ingrained in me, in varying degrees, that they are my guiding principles in all aspects of my life—spiritual, family, health, and social.

We Are Wolves by Katrina Nannestad 

We only empathize with stories that are presented before us. A story can be biased depending on who’s presenting it. This book has pushed me to make a conscious effort to see the many sides of every story. Not the whos and whys but the stories of the little ones—the collateral damage that doesn’t make it to the news or social media. Very relevant to today’s events, there are people who just happened to be born with a certain nationality but are going through the same struggles as human beings in a conflicted world. Moreover, it has pushed me to see people beyond their race, beliefs, culture, and background. To see them just as they are—mom, dad, student, grandparent. This has helped me live with compassion especially in a multi-racial community.

When Breath Becomes by Paul Kalanithi

This book is a hard read because it’s a posthumous publication of a 36-year-old Stanford neurosurgeon’s life and battle with cancer, so yes, we know how it ends. It’s sad, scary, and deep, and it forces reflection upon one’s mortality. This has death written all over it, which could have been depressing, but a resounding theme in the book is that life is NOT about avoiding suffering. The part when he and his wife decide to have a baby even with the certainty of his death always makes me tear up. After finishing the novel, I just wanted to hug my husband and children so close and not let go. It made me vow to cherish every minute I have with them.

In both capacity and circumstance, the author delivers. Paul Kalanithi’s sentences are spun gold. He is brilliant. His story is heart-wrenching. His courage in taking his pain head-on is worthy of admiration. His message is inspirational and important, revolving mainly around this question: What is a human life well-spent?

Becoming by Michelle Obama

I love this book because it was equal parts sentimental and strong, told in a voice that is both powerful and tender, written by someone you can’t help but look up to. There were so many times that I choked up on the way she recounted scenes and situations—something I didn’t expect from an autobiography. I could not exactly relate to her history of being marginalized as black and female, but she tells her story with such insight, with her grasp of words so adept, that I constantly found myself moved beyond control.

This memoir propelled me to think of my daughter, wishing for her to emulate Michelle Obama’s virtues in education, career, and life. Many times, I also thought of myself and what I could become as a wife, a worker, and a woman. Being a mother of two girls and raised by a strong female figure, her belief in the power of women is hopeful and resonant. My biggest takeaways would be her emphasis on defining oneself before others define you, and continuously reaching for better versions of ourselves.

Brain Rules by John Medina

It contains so much new information in every chapter that the psychology buff in me simply can’t stop sharing them to anyone who would listen. It broadened my understanding of individuals and heightened my inclination to know more about people’s personalities and behavior. 

These 12 rules that he stated have stayed with me since the first time I’ve read them, and I always find myself referring back to them when faced with education, work productivity, and even parenting questions:

1. Exercise boosts brain power.

2. The human brain evolved.

3. Every brain is wired differently.

4. People don’t pay attention to boring things.

5. Repeat to remember.

6. Remember to repeat.

7. Sleep well, think well.

8. Stressed brains do not learn the same way as non-stressed brains.

9. Stimulate more of the senses at the same time.

10. Vision trumps all other senses.

11. Male and female brains are different.

12. We are powerful and natural explorers.

The writing style is just a bonus. The author, a neuroscientist, employs easy language, relatable analogies, and amusing anecdotes to explain complex concepts. It’s an absolute page-turner, and always comes in handy in nerdy conversations. I’d say it’s a must-have for every parent. He also released another book specifically for new parents: Brain Rules for Baby.

SIDDHARTA by Herman Hesse

The book is about your path to happiness, which no one can teach and only you can discover. I first read it in college and I re-read it every couple of years or so. I think I find new meaning every time I go through Siddharta’s life from youth to old age, at a different stage of my own life. What you know to be true does grow deeper as you grow old.  

THE PURPOSE-DRIVEN LIFE by Rick Warren

It’s not what I read but when I did that mattered. “The Purpose-Driven Life” was a gift to me in 2003 but I only opened it six years later—exactly when I was making critical life decisions. That title is absolute truth because it really did help me discern what my God-given purpose was. I’m still living the life that I chose then, today.

NANCY DREW #15 THE HAUNTED BRIDGE by Carolyn Keene

My mom gave me this book when I was 8 or 9 years old to help keep me from being bored while I was at the hospital recuperating from an operation. This book started my love for reading. Reading is my happy activity and my stress relief. Reading was also my source of comfort as I went through difficult challenges in my life, including going through cancer. I will always be a bookworm, thanks to this book.

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott and Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Montgomery 

I saw these books in my grandparents’ house one summer and found out they were owned by my mom. I loved reading them. I introduced these to my friends and later on to my daughters. These are the books that remind me of the importance of family and the value of strong women in today’s world. I’m currently planning a trip to Prince Edward Island (setting of Anne of Green Gables) with my mom, kids, and my dear high school friends who first read these books with me. I’m giddy with excitement!

I Don’t Know How She Does It by Allison Pearson

This book resonated a lot with me. As a working mom, I used to struggle every day to achieve a healthy balance between the different areas of my life. This book reminded me that I wasn’t alone in this struggle. And now that my kids are older, I am so proud of how independent, smart, and driven they turned out to be, and realize that I must have gotten that balance right!