Pregnancy Mystified is a new series by and on Mommy Mundo. Stemming from the response received to Patty Hizon’s preeclampsia story, the series seeks to shed light on unusual pregnancy and birth stories by sharing the unique experiences of moms in the community. These are real moms and real stories that all moms can learn from.
For Flor Campo, becoming pregnant was a dream to wish for because of her polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS). Women with PCOS have ovaries that do not always release an egg to be fertilised, resulting in irregular periods. This naturally leads to difficulty conceiving. (Read more about PCOS here.) So in 2018, when she found herself looking at the two pink lines on her home pregnancy test, she was both surprised and ecstatic. Her dream would soon come true!
“I was smooth sailing during the earlier months,” shares Flor, who talks about how she took prenatal vitamins right away and began the happy anticipation of a life as a mommy.
Flor shares this photo of her anen baby.
During her 16th week check-up, her OB GYN asked if she wanted to try and see if they could peek at the baby’s gender. Excited, Flor agreed. As the scan proceeded, however, her pregnancy took a turn. “I saw how my OB’s face turned serious,” she said. “It was unusual. I knew that she saw something wrong.”
Flor’s OB GYN explained to her that her baby has anencephaly. Unfamiliar with the condition, her doctor began explaining what that meant.
Anencephaly is a rare, irreversible congenital condition wherein a part of the baby’s skull and brain do not form during the first trimester of pregnancy. It is a neural tube defect (NTD) that results from the neural tube not closing in the first three or so weeks after conception (neural tubes normally close between Day 23 to 26 following conception). Approximately 1 in every 1,000 pregnancies is diagnosed with anencephaly, often leading to miscarriage. Around 1 in every 10,000 are carried to full term, but survival outside the womb lasts only hours or perhaps a few days. Anencephalic babies are often born without the forebrain (known as the thinking parts of the brain) and the remaining parts of the brain are not covered by skull or skin. Babies with anencephaly are often born “blind, deaf, unconscious and unable to feel pain.” (NINDS.nih.gov)
“The next thing I heard were the words ‘NOT COMPATIBLE TO LIFE,’” Flor shares. “And that’s when everything turned upside down. I began to question: why me?”
Flor admits to being in denial after that session with her OB GYN. She saw another doctor and got a second opinion. Then a third. Then a fourth. Every doctor gave the same diagnosis. She scoured the internet for ways to manage her pregnancy and help her baby. She read about all the possible reasons why the condition occurs (the most common theory linked to a lack of folic acid prior to conception) and couldn’t find any that related to her.
Finding no answers, she sought support groups instead. Families that have had “anen babies” or babies with NTDs. She found comfort among fellow moms that had been through the journey, that were in the journey, or that–like her–just started the journey and needed answers. What she discovered was a support group that understood all her emotions.
“While other mommy groups ask and talk about the best baby clothes, about diapers and cribs, we are talking about planning a memorial service.”
Carrying her baby to term was both beautiful and heartbreaking. She wished that she could stay pregnant forever so she could keep her baby safe and growing, so she would always be able to feel her baby kicking and rolling. She cherished all the minutes and hours of her pregnancy, knowing that those minutes and hours were the only ones she would have with her baby.
“My baby was born on October 12, 2018, and returned to our creator after eight hours.”
Flor and her rainbow baby.
Despite it all, the expectation and loss made Flor stronger. And after reading the first article on Pregnancy Mystified, she was inspired to share the story of how she was a mommy for a day. She shares that in the “anen” groups, moms are afraid to tell people about their condition because of the fear of being judged or questioned about how they had taken care of their child. Flor sees it quite differently now though. “I will try, to the best of my ability, to inform future moms to take their prenatal vitamins seriously because this is one way to avoid congenital defects. I will encourage them to spread love to all moms-to-be that whatever people might say or think about you or your child, he or she will be perfect in your eyes.”
Two years after the loss of her first child, she conceived her rainbow baby. Though some might say she is just now becoming a mommy, in her heart Flor knows she has been a mom since 2018. A message she would like to give to all moms who have carried and lost is: “You are a mommy, and you always will be.”
About the writer
Rachel Kelly Davis has been a published writer since the age of 14, often writing features, essays, and cover pieces. In 2016 she started writing poetry, leaving index cards of her poems all over the world and posting the photos she is sent by the people who find them. She has worked in communications for over a decade, wearing various hats ranging from digital marketing and SEO practitioner, brand strategist, and investor relations officer. Most recently she was the Associate Vice President for Customer Experience (Public Affairs) at WSP Inc., a public relations company based in the Philippines. Currently she is happily raising 6-year-old Valentina and 4-month old Levi Grey while taking charge of Mommy Mundo’s web content. Find her and more of her recipes on Instagram @arkaydee
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