There are few times in the world’s history where everyone pauses to recognise that being a doctor is a calling, a vocation like no other. While it may not seem so at the moment, we are fortunate to be witnessing the brave dedication of those who have devoted their lives to medicine and the health of others.
Anesthesiologist, Cricket Manotok-Santiago is affiliated with Makati Medical Center, a hospital that has handled a significant number of COVID-19 cases, both persons-under-investigation (PUIs) and COVID-positive.
As part of the “frontliners,” as they have been called, Doc Cricket intubates critically ill patients presenting severe acute respiratory distress. This process involves placing a tube down the patient’s throat to help them breathe. It is one of the procedures that carries the highest risk of exposure to the viral infection because of the proximity to the source of droplets, and even if personal protective equipment (PPE) significantly reduces the chances, the risk is still there.
Like all the doctors and nurses on the frontlines Doc Cricket worries for her patients, her colleagues, the containment of the virus, and her family. She is the mother to a soon to be two-year-old named Primo, for whom she is making this sacrifice.
“Before being decked to the frontlines, I spoke with my husband about the risk of me being exposed to the virus and the possibility of having to go on self-quarantine for 14 days. I asked if he would be ok with this especially since we had no yaya for Primo. We had a lengthy discussion, but in the end, he understood that it was an obligation that I had to fulfill and that he would support me throughout the ordeal,” she shares.
Home life had to be adjusted for her. Doc Cricket began showering as soon as she got home, eating after her family, and sleeping alone–the hardest choice since Primo had slept by her side since his birth. She recognised that this isolation is what needed to be done in order to protect her family from a virus she is fighting and may bring home.
Cricket with her husband and son, Primo.
“It’s a very difficult set-up, especially when I hear my son calling out for me, but I can’t come close to him. He has slept beside me in bed ever since he was a newborn, so it feels very lonely to not have him by my side at night. One of the hardest things I’ve had to endure was coming home after a very tiring duty and longing for a hug and a kiss from my son that I know I can’t have,” she shares.
As difficult as it is, Doc Cricket takes comfort and joy in having an incredibly supportive spouse and knowing that even at a very young age Primo is seeing and understanding the value of health. And of course, there are the stories she will never forget.
“I was called to intubate a very sweet 76-year-old gentleman because of respiratory distress. When I came to see him, I had to explain that I would need to put a tube down his throat to help him breathe better, but in the process of doing so, I would also have to put him to sleep so he doesn’t resist the tube and mechanical ventilator. As I was preparing the equipment, he gathered enough breaths to tell me, ‘Papatulugin mo ako? Paano ko pa makikita ang kagandahan mo?’ to which I jokingly responded, ‘Sir, yan po ang rason kaya kailangan nyo pa pong magpalakas, para makita mo pa ako ulit.’ We both shared a few chuckles after that exchange. Three hours after I intubated him, I learned that he quietly passed away.
I also had another patient that needed intubation who I caught was having a video call with his family abroad, as if saying their final goodbyes. His sister was crying frantically over the phone but he was brave enough to let them know that he will be fine and there was no need to worry about him because he was in good hands. He wasn’t aware that I was in the room when he said this. It was a mixed feeling of flattery, sympathy and heartbreak all at the same time as I found my goggles fogging up from the tears that were welling up in my eyes after witnessing their conversation.”
Decked out in her PPE.
It’s experiences like these that she knows have changed her forever. Manotok-Santiago discovered her ability to be truly brave, to defy her fears and fight a silent and invisible opponent. It was in being a frontliner that she realised how much she loves her job, and rediscovered her purpose and responsibility as a doctor and a mother.
“I’ve grown to be a much braver person and doctor than I thought I could ever possibly be because of this experience.
As a mom, I am much more cautious of my family’s health now that I’ve seen how very fragile life could be. My son is still very young to understand what I am doing now but someday I want him to nurture whatever talent is given to him and to take every chance he can get to use it to change the world. There is no better way to show courage than to become selfless in a time when everyone is scared to help. To quote one of my senior colleagues in MMC, ‘altruism, like COVID, is contagious’.”
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