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Having another baby is an exciting time for your family. It’s a big change, especially for older siblings, even more so if the older sibling was an only child. Older children, toddlers especially, may become jealous of the attention the new baby will receive. In order to avoid breakdowns and tantrums, parents can use these tips and tricks, but in a nutshell, it comes down to a little extra bonding.
Ages 1 to 2
The younger the sibling, the less likely they are to fully understand everything that comes with a younger sibling. Some things you can do include:
- Act really excited
When your child sees that you are excited, they will become excited too! Make the new baby seem like the most exciting thing that can happen so that they look forward to it.
- Show them special books
There are plenty of books that help prepare children for younger siblings. Reading these can help ready them for what babies are like (ex. they cry, they poop, they make everyone happy).
- Start a ritual
Reading can be a ritual or a habit to start with your toddler. Reading to them every night can help encourage them to read early, to enjoy reading and books, and to give you bonding time with them every night. Having special time that is just for them can really help your child adjust to their new sibling coming home.
- Give them a gift
When the baby comes, you can give your older child a present from the baby. That will help pique their interest and be more accepting of the baby. Not to mention the fact that the present will be a distraction in those first couple of days.
The challenge of the young age comes when the baby is born and both children need attention. Come up with a system early on how you and your spouse will divide your time so that your older child gets the attention they need while the baby still gets the 24/7 care they need!
Ages 2 to 4
As your toddler gets older, they will become more aware of what is going on around them. They need attention, they have a lot of questions, and they are very attached to their moms. That’s why this is the stage when the coming of a younger sibling can feel really disruptive. Again, bonding with your child can be the answer! Consider these tips”
- Talk to your child about what babies are like
Tell your child that babies are noisy and will cry so that they are prepared for it. Let them know that the baby will be cute and cuddly. Let them know that the baby will be a bit fragile in the beginning, but soon they will be old enough and tough enough to play with them and be their best friend forever.
- Get them involved with the preparations
Asking your toddler to help choose room colours, a crib, little toys (you may need to get them toys too) can help your toddler feel connected to the baby early on and make the baby something to happily anticipate.
- Get them ready for the hospital
No, your toddler can’t be in the hospital with you, so you need to have a plan of where and with whom they will be when you go. Make sure your toddler is aware of this plan and is excited about it. If they are particularly attached or have fun with one of their grandparents, for example, telling them that on the day the baby comes they will get a special sleepover with that grandparent can make things easier!
Once the baby comes home, make sure you and your spouse spend time with your older child. Those bonding moments can really help them. If your older child regresses a bit because they see that the baby gets attention for acting like a baby, know that it’s completely normal. Try praising them for how old and mature they are becoming so they are encouraged to keep behaving according to their age
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