Changing Your Life Story

Christine Dychiao tells of how the joy of KonMari changed her life and how she’s made it her mission to spread the same “life-changing magic of tidying up” with others.

By Risa Regala-Garcia

The very first thing I noticed about Christine “Tin” Dychiao, the first certified KonMari Consultant in the Philippines, is how her face seemed to have an air of lightness to it—as if she were free of the stresses one might expect that a working mom of three would have. Her pleasant demeanor throughout our interview echoed my initial observation; and at the end of our talk, I have to say that I felt a bit lighter myself—as if there had been some sort of osmosis of good energy that had taken place.

How It All Began

Christine shared that she’s been asked many times over the reason for her taking up “the life-changing magic of tidying up” as a career; and she has consistently asserted that a series of events that happened one after the other, in just the right order, led her to pursue the certificate course in New York. “I was a young mother at the time, living in the US, when I first encountered the book after having read a glowing review of it in the New York Times. I was instantly intrigued and thought to myself that it was just the kind of help I needed to put my house in order.” Little did Christine know that it would involve not only her cleaning house but it would extend to other areas of her life that needed some decluttering as well. Her husband bought her the book and she went through it quickly.

“From living in an apartment when I was newly married, to the time we moved from the US to Singapore before finally settling back in Manila, my family and I had acquired many, many things. It got to a point where I was so overwhelmed that when I would open up a closet, I’d be afraid that something would fall down and hit me on the head; it was that bad.

I asked Christine if she had any tendencies to hoard things or purchase items in excess. She said she enjoys shopping as an activity probably as much as the next person, but that she is able to resist any urges to buy things just because they’re on sale or to make her trip to mall worthwhile. “Just how untidy was your living space?” I inquired. She narrates, “From living in an apartment when I was newly married, to the time we moved from the US to Singapore before finally settling back in Manila, my family and I had acquired many, many things. It got to a point where I was so overwhelmed that when I would open up a closet, I’d be afraid that something would fall down and hit me on the head; it was that bad. So, I took the usual course of action, which was to buy storage bins and boxes of all shapes and sizes to contain all of our stuff. Our family had grown in number and the term “stuffocation” is the perfect way to describe the state we found ourselves in.”

On Letting Go

Parang akong nabunutan ng tinik.

Christine was always very conscious to keep her living and dining room neat for visitors, because “it was the face I showed the world.” All of the mess was contained in the kitchen and bedrooms of her house. “I took Marie Kondo’s advice to pull everything from the problematic areas and gather it all in one place. I was to take a picture and then, one by one, deal with each item. It really worked! I felt the usual apprehensions associated with things I’d kept over the years, placing value on them because they reminded me of a certain time in my life or thinking that my other kids might still be able to use them in the future. But it felt so good to let go of those things.” Christine was so positively affected by the experience that she began looking for other items to free herself of. She acknowledges that it certainly made things easier that her kids were younger at the time; so, she could still decide for them which items to discard and which ones to keep. But she is quick to add that everyone should deal with their own things- so that if you do it, “you will shine the light to guide the others in the household or family in doing the same. You need to be ready to let go for it to work for you. It’s for anyone who wants a tidy life and the decision to keep or discard things is based on your own feelings. It’s all about the value that each person attaches to each item, not what those things mean to others.” Undoubtedly, Christine shares, it’s a very emotional experience for many. “They say ‘Parang akong nabunutan ng tinik.’”

A Positive Influence

Christine has three kids ages ten, seven and four. “I know I’m doing something good, because my kids also show me that I’m on the right track,” she happily shares. “My eldest was not even five years old yet when I started using the KonMari method at home. They’re kids, so of course I can’t always control their kalat. But there are days when they surprise me and I get these little rewards. Like the other day, my son told me, ‘Look, Mom! I folded my clothes the KonMari way!’” Through her practice of the KonMari method, Christine says she has become more mindful of the way she views others. She has learned to respect the way her children view their possessions, and observes that her older kids are not attached to their stuff in the way that she may be. “They have no baggage that comes with letting go of their things, some of which I consider to have great sentimental value. As for my youngest, of course he loves all his toys; but I let him know that when it comes to packing away, it’s non-negotiable.”

I know I’m doing something good, because my kids also show me that I’m on the right track

Rewriting Your Story

“I’ve learned to refrain from judging others on the value they attach to possessions, as each item usually carries a story behind it. I try my best to share with my clients the KonMari way of recognizing which things bring them joy.” For Christine, her approach to her retail business also shifted, as she has become more conscious of mindful consumption and not just selling to be able to get rid of inventory. “People need to experience their things by noticing what they feel when they touch them. It’s important even for those who don’t have a lot of things to go through this process and hone that discernment process.”

Christine told me a story about a tricycle driver whom she was challenged to help using the KonMari method. “Even for this man, who lived in a tiny house and did not have many possessions, the Method worked for him because he decided to let go of so many things that he and his wife had collected through the years. Afterwards, he and his wife were pleased that the things they valued, their clothes, could finally fit in their space.”

Removing the clutter, both mental and physical, can contribute to making room for other things to come into one’s life. For example, Christine had a client who got promoted after tidying up her space at her office, while another finally finished a certificate course because she was able to focus more without distractions. Yet another client declared to her that she made the decision to have her third child after decluttering her house, as it allowed her to make room for one more. “And when it comes to disposing of your things, Christine says, “Please don’t pass on the burden of your things to others. Be deliberate and mindful about where your things go. Books can be donated to libraries; and the nicer pieces can perhaps go to family or friends whom you know will appreciate them.”

Christine goes on to say that the discernment practice of whether to keep, discard or donate, transcends just the physical act of tidying up. “It can be applied to all other areas of your life where decision making can be overwhelming or daunting: in your love-life, your career, your family life. It goes much deeper, giving one a glimpse of who they really are: what is important to them, if their things represent who they are, if they need to let go of negative relationships or things that have baggage attached to them.” Maybe we all could use a little rewriting of our life story and surround ourselves with only those things that bring us joy. Whether it’s through KonMari or not, as Christine advises, “You just need to be ready to go through the process and commit to it.”

Credits to Stanley Ong for taking these photos for our Mom Spotlight Feature for October.
Follow him on Instagram, Facebook or visit https://www.stanleyongphotography.com/

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About the Contributor

Risa Regala Garcia writes about food, family – the travails of parenting and the challenges of supporting ageing parents- and the bittersweet moments of midlife when the joys and fears of our childhood resurface. 

To read her work is to step back into a simpler time, when a pink blanket could ward off night time ghouls and a grandmother’s kitschy decor could entertain an imaginative child for hours.