It Only Gets Better

By: Monica L. Javier

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How’s it going? Last year, we literally had to hold the fort & fly the plane as we were navigating remote learning with your child, your child’s teachers and everyone else. On to our second year… Did you take the time to stop and reflect on what worked and what did not work? Hearing other people’s experience is great, but really thinking about your process, your family’s story and how you were able to get through the first year of remote learning is valuable.

Before you read on, I’d like you to think about these:

• What did you like about remote learning?
• What didn’t you like about remote distance learning?
• Which parts of remote learning did your child/ren enjoy the most?
• Which parts of remote learning did your child/ren struggle in?
• What are your wins as a family?

I’m sure you’ve gone a long way! I hope you are in a better place. You might have new struggles and it’s ok because this is our second year. 

Remote learning reminded us parents, that we have an invaluable role in the education of our children. For many years, a lot of us turned over the role of educating our children to schools. With the remote learning set-up, we suddenly have to step-up.  All of a sudden, your home is now the school. Yes, it was a lot of responsibility but we made it! In this article, I want to share some ideas on how parents play a big role in helping their children learn and succeed in this remote learning set-up. You do not have to be the teacher but your influence is extraordinary, that you can help your child in this process and make this year better for your child and your whole family. 

Establish routines and expectations.

Developing good study habits is essential in life-long learning and not just in remote learning. Create a routine that will work for your family. Flexibility is key. If you can see that your routine is not working, be open to changing it to what will work best for your child and your family. 

Help your child choose a good place to learn.

If you think that your child needs a grown-up inside the room, share a space with your child. Make sure that he will learn to be independent while you are in the area offering help and support when needed. If you can see that your child is not listening, you can remind your child to focus. If he is not participating, you can ask the question to your child again or break down the question. You do not need to give the answer, the goal is for your child to learn. 

The end goal is independence. We need to forge our path towards that route – finding ways to support in the beginning and slowly giving your child a chance to navigate and figure things out independently. 

Communication is key.

Have a conversation with your child on what is expected of him / her as a student in a remote learning classroom. Be curious about your child’s process. Ask your child, “What did you like about today?” “What was challenging today?” 

Be an advocate of your child. Encourage your child to try to do things on their own. Communicate that it is ok to make mistakes and that we learn from our mistakes. Be open to listen to your child. Let us not make assumptions on what is difficult. Ask your child what help they need. Remember, if you continue to give out the answer to every question, you are not giving him the opportunity to try it out, think critically and persist. Children learn best when they feel that adults around them are supporting them. It is easier for kids to be actively using their learning brain if they feel that support.

This is a difficult time, kids may feel alone and may need emotional support as well. Ask about how your child feels. Ask about their friends. Find ways for them to interact with people outside of your home – cousins? aunties? Grandparents? through a zoom or phone call. Arrange online playdates or encourage them to write a friend. Kids also need to have interactions with people outside of your home.

Communicate with your child’s teachers. If there is something that is not clear, send an email to ask and clarify. If your concern is not something that the classroom teacher can address, send an email to someone who can help you solve your problem.  Is it the guidance counselor? subject coordinator? Find ways to get in touch with them through email. Your parent chat group is often not the place for this. We do not want to be the source of chaos and disruption. Knowing who can help you address a problem and getting in touch with that person is a more productive approach to school-related issues. 

Always keep in mind that your child’s teacher is an ally, you have the same goals to help your child and set your child up for success. Keeping this in mind is always helpful.

Help your child own their learning.

First, teach your child to ask for help. We never really know if our child knows how to ask for help. There are kids who never had the need to ask for help. If your child is asking your help for an assignment – help by asking questions and not by answering it for them. If your child needs scaffolding (breakdown) to understand a task better, break down the idea. If you do not have the time or do not have the patience to do so, schedule a session with the teacher. If you notice that this happens regularly, step back – is your child overly dependent on you? Is there a gap in learning and your child does not know it entirely? Let the teacher know that your child needs extra help to understand the lesson better. 

Use the school’s resources.

Now that we are doing things remotely a lot of schools invested in subscriptions and digital libraries that you can access online. Learn about these as it may actually help your child be more independent in doing research, etc.

Encourage productive struggle.

Nothing in life is easy. If everything is always easy, how will our children learn to problem solve and find other ways. Struggle is important for our children to consider other options, develop self-regulation and critical thinking skills. We don’t have to solve everything right away.

Establish times for quiet and reflection.

Helping your child think about their process will help them identify their needs. Encourage your child to reflect on their participation and learning.

Encourage physical activity and exercise.

When you plan your routine, make sure that there is time for physical activities. If you have a small space – chores is actually a physical activity. Sweeping the floor, sorting the laundry or washing the dishes. Kids need to release their energy. 

Be easy on yourself.

We can only do so much. We are holding the fort and we’ve learned a great deal from last year. We are definitely in a better place. Self-care is important. Find ways to care for yourself too. A tired parent cannot fully care for their family.

In the end, as Maya Angelou said, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.