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The last couple of years have been particularly tough for teens. The overwhelming demands of online learning, increased screen time, disrupted sleep, and decreased social interaction with friends could possibly take a toll on their mental health.
The thing is, some parents may not even be aware that their children are experiencing depression. “Some smiles hide the true feelings,” Dr. Ann Princess Grana-Nespral, a child and adult psychiatrist, says. That is why parents should be cognizant in spotting the red flags.
Here, Dr. Grana-Nespral shares the possible physical and emotional manifestations of depression that parents should take note of.
1. Changes in behavior: Not all personality or behavioral changes are problematic. You know your teen best. If there are changes in his patterns, such as staying in his room all the time, not interacting as much with family members, or not getting involved in activities, maybe it is time to check in on him.
Assign him chores at home. Get him involved in family decisions and encourage him to pursue various interests.
2. Changes in grades: Online learning is difficult. He may or may not verbalize his experiences regarding school, but a dip in his performance, missed assessments, missed classes, refusal to go to online class, or lower overall grade may mean he is having a tough time.
A teenager who expects to have high grades may experience distress if he doesn’t get good marks. However, grades are not everything. Be mindful of your own behavior and expectations towards numerical grades. School should be for learning, experience, and growth, not the numerical grade alone.
3. Isolation: Teens are mostly social beings. Friends play a huge role at this stage. Isolating from their peers may be a warning sign that something is going on.
4. Weight loss or weight gain: Social media plays a big factor in a teen’s perception of what is ideal. This can lead to unrealistic expectations, leading to eating and weight concerns. Any changes in weight within a short duration of time may be a red flag as to the emotional state of the teen.
5. Social media posts regarding sadness, distress, or self-harm: Verbalizations regarding teen emotions should always be given attention. We need to listen to our teens as they verbalize their emotions. There is no small or big problem, or weakness of character. Emotions should be acknowledged, labeled, and experienced, with the support of the adults around them.
6. Irritability. Teens may get cranky as there are a lot of changes—physical, mental, emotional—happening in their lives at the same time. Persistent irritability, which spills out with tasks at home and in school may be a sign of distress and may warrant further investigation.
Dos and Don’ts
Do:
1. Listen to your teens.
2. Acknowledge and validate their feelings.
3. Help your teens label their emotions. It’s not always just “depressed.” Differentiate sadness, frustration, anger, disappointment, and so on.
4. Sit with them as they experience the emotion.
5. Be their safe space.
Do not:
1. Minimize their emotions. “Wala lang ‘yan, ako nga…” or “ipagdasal lang natin ‘yan.” For all you know, they may have been praying already and still feel in distress.
2. Cheer them up. They need to know, label, experience, and manage their emotions. They have to go through the process. Cheering them up inappropriately may do more harm.
3. Solve their problem for them. Teens need to process, understand, and practice their problem-solving skills.
When your instincts are telling you something, seek help. It would do more good than harm.
About the expert: Dr. Ann Princess Grana-Nespral is a Fellow of Philippine Psychiatric Association. She is a Child and Adult Psychiatrist practicing in Northern Mindanao for the past 11 years.
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