Parenting in the digital world

Just about everything that we do now involves the use of a gadget or a connection to the internet. Technology and media are everywhere, and this can make parents anxious. After all, parents have been told of the evils of technology and overexposure to media. For years, parents and children have fought over technology and media use in their households. It becomes an issue of control and obedience. And the blame, often put on the media, is unwarranted. Media and tech didn’t do anything! We did.

But over the past couple of years, as children switched to online learning, parents had to find new ways to balance the old notions and the new systems. Media and technology should work for both parents and the family. It is a tool that can unite the family instead of divide it. This can be achieved if parents reframe the way media is seen and used in their homes. Consider these tips:

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Setting rules

Rules are important because they set boundaries that can help children learn to regulate their own media and tech consumption. This, in turn, teach them both discipline and self-control. Here are some good rules to have:

• Have tech-free zones

Establishing areas of the house where BOTH children and parents cannot use their devices is a good rule because it can give the family tech-free time. The dining room is a good example of a tech-free zone, forcing everyone to talk as they enjoy their meals together. This can help children bond with their parents.

Making the bedroom a tech-free zone will help lessen parents’ anxiety over what their children are doing online. Parents can overhear who their children are speaking to and what they are doing if the tech and media are set up in a common area.

• Turn off devices at 7pm

It would be a good rule to tell children, especially younger ones, that they can’t watch TV, play on their iPads, play video games, and the like for an hour before bedtime. Having quiet time before bed and giving their eyes and brains a break from the stimulation will help them sleep better at night. It also provides parents the opportunity to have quiet time with their children where they can read a book or play a card game.

• Allocate battery life

A fully charged brand new iPad can last around 10 hours, depending on usage. With moderate use, that could last up to two days. If it is drained in one day, however, it means that your child has been on the device for 10 hours! Tell him that he has to go tech free the next day since that battery life should have given him two days of use and not just one. This teaches discipline and being conscientiousness of time.

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Being deliberate about use of media and technology

Many parents have adapted the work-from-home setup. With the household and work duties all happening in one place, parents can be quite distracted. And they tend to use a lot of tech too! BUT the first step to teaching our children about using tech and media responsibly is by setting a good example. This involves being deliberate with their own use of technology and media. Consider these:

• Do not use media to keep them quiet

Using an iPad to keep your children occupied does not teach them responsible media use. It can hamper their creativity because they just might ask for it every time they’re bored, or think that they will get it after a tantrum or two. It doesn’t teach them to manage their emotions or discipline and regulate their use of media.

• Know what your child is watching and playing

• Know who your children are talking to online

The digital world is scary, and there are predators out there. Just as you would take the time to get to know your kids’ friends at school, so should you also get to know your children’s online friends, and guide them in the same way.

• Talk to them about the dangers of online anonymity

As your child becomes more independent in his use of tech and media, be sure to talk to him about the dangers of online predators and the different things they might encounter on the internet. Remind your child that as soon as anything seems strange or as soon as any personal information or photographs of them are requested, he should inform you right away. This way, you can get to know this person asking for these personal details and respond to the situation accordingly.

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Seeking understanding

Reframing how we see technology use and media consumption can help us better understand our children. A young boy might seem disconnected from the world and overly connected to his video game. But taking the time to look at the game and play with them could reveal that he’s talking to other children, learning teamwork, and acquiring skills. Similarly, a teenage girl may seem socially isolated and always on her phone when a quick look can reveal that she is having lively group chats with her girlfriends and having regular online parties.

Taking the time to understand the platform our children are using can make a world of difference for parents, and for the kids, too! Children will appreciate their parents spending the time with them, especially if it means Mom and Dad would play with them, too!

Media and technology will be part of our everyday life from now own. Parents have long stopped fighting it, but not all of them have fully embraced the power it can give them and the ways it can unite their family. Consider the above tips as a good start, and apply what you feel works best for you and your kids. If you haven’t yet, set up a group chat with your children as soon as you’re done reading this.