Preparing your toddler for a sibling

Having another baby is an exciting time for your family. It’s a big change, especially for older siblings, even more so if the older sibling was an only child. Older children, toddlers especially, may become jealous of the attention that the new baby will receive. In order to avoid breakdowns and tantrums, parents can use these tips. But in a nutshell, it all comes down to a little extra bonding.

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Ages 1 to 2

The younger the sibling, the less likely he is to fully understand everything that comes with a younger sibling. Some things you can do include:

• Act really excited

When your child sees that you are excited, he will become excited, too. Make the new baby seem like the most exciting thing that can happen so that he’ll look forward to it.

• Show him special books

There are plenty of books that help prepare a child for a younger sibling. Reading these can help prepare him for what babies are like (ex. they cry, they poop, they make everyone happy).

• Start a ritual

Reading can be a ritual or a habit to start with your toddler. Reading to him every night would allow him to enjoy reading and books and could become a bonding activity with him every night. Having a special time that is just for him can help your child adjust to a new sibling.

• Give him a gift

When the baby comes, you can give your older child a present from the baby. It will help pique his interest and be more accepting of the baby; the present will also serve as a distraction in those first couple of days.

The challenge in this kind of situation is that when the baby is born, both children will need attention. Come up with a system early on how you and your spouse will divide your time so that your older child gets attention while baby gets the 24/7 care he needs.

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Ages 2 to 4

As your toddler gets older, he will become more aware of what is going on around him. He needs attention, he has a lot of questions, and he’s very attached to his mom. This is the stage when the coming of a younger sibling can feel disruptive. Again, bonding with your child can be the answer. Consider these tips:

• Talk to your child about what babies are like

Tell your child that babies are noisy and will cry so that he’s prepared for it. Let him know that the baby will be cute and cuddly. Let him know that the baby will be a bit fragile in the beginning, but soon he will be old enough and tough enough to play with his sibling and be his best friend forever.

• Get him involved with the preparations

Asking your toddler to help choose the color of the room, a crib, and little toys can help your toddler feel connected to the baby early on and make him happily anticipate the coming of the baby.

• Get him ready for the hospital

Your toddler can’t be in the hospital with you, so you need to have a plan as to where and with whom he will be when you go. Make sure your toddler is aware of this plan and is excited about it. If he’s particularly attached to his grandparents, for example, arrange for a sleepover.

Once the baby comes home, make sure you and your spouse spend time with your older child. Those bonding moments will help him. If your older child regresses a bit because he sees the baby getting more attention, know that it’s completely normal. Try praising him for how old and mature he has become so he’s encouraged to keep behaving according to his age.