Financial Mindfulness: Four Tips for New Parents

The first time your newborn grips your finger, you make a promise to do whatever it takes to make this tiny human being feel safe, secure and loved for always. Then the pandemic happens. And what we thought at the start would simply be an unexpected, unwelcome guest has turned out to be an inconvenient long-term visitor plaguing our thoughts and fogging our vision of providing a bright future for our families.

Life as a new parent in the time of pandemic comes with its unique challenges — from loved ones being able to only see your baby via Zoom, working from home yet not having enough time for family, the unmistakable feelings of uncertainty and grief for all that once was common and taken for granted like baby playdates, out of town trips and even job security.

It isn’t just the big things that can throw us off course; dealing with our day-to-day stress and anxieties can seem like “small stuff” at first but in the long term, it can be disruptive. That is why the intentional practice of seeing any situation differently, from a more positive, proactive and self-compassionate point-of-view is key; this is the lens of mindfulness.

Mindfulness: A Transformational Practice for Anxious New Parents

The Oxford dictionary defines mindfulness as, “a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.”

Put simply, here are three key elements of mindfulness and some examples of how the practice can free you from harsh self-judgments and insecurities.

• Being aware of what you’re thinking and feeling in the moment (ie., My baby is cranky and it’s making me short-tempered, frustrated and guilty.)

• Being attentive to what is happening in the now, simply observing your thoughts and feelings as they arise (ie., I realize I’m feeling frustrated because I want to spend time with my baby but I still have so much work to do. And I feel so much guilt from being short-tempered, I think it’s making the baby even more cranky. I feel like a bad mom.)

• Being non-judgmental of yourself and others, having instead an attitude that is curious and kind. (ie., It’s okay to feel all my messy and difficult feelings. I’m having a hard time and I know it will pass. I am not a bad mom. I am doing my best and that is enough.)

Can the practice of mindfulness help you build financial security for your family? Yes, because how you do one thing is how you do everything. Your patterns become your habits and your habits become the way you lead your life. Being mindful will help you discover your self-limiting beliefs about money, be self-aware enough to shift and change these beliefs to more powerful ones and create realistic, actionable financial goals that will allow you to preserve your peace of mind.

Four Financial Mindfulness Tips You Can Start Today

Here are some financial mindfulness tips to start you on your way to building a nest egg for your family amidst these difficult times (yes, you can!)

1. Start a Financial Management Practice

Coming from mindfulness, set up a consistent financial management habit. Whether it’s tracking your daily expenses, checking account balances and transactions or evaluating and adjusting your financial plan, make yourself aware of where you are in terms of debt, income and expenses. Be kind to yourself in seeing where you stand financially at the moment, agree with your partner on lifestyle adjustments should there be a need and wash, rinse, repeat.

The important thing is that you mindfully develop a healthy relationship with your finances by being aware of it as opposed to avoiding the details then having to face it once there’s a problem.

2. Cultivate Awareness

By practicing mindfulness, you will discover your financial habits, unconscious beliefs about money you may have picked up from childhood and be able to replace these with more empowering behaviours. What are your associations with money? Where did they come from? Who taught you about money? How can these change to serve your goals and values better now? Remember not to judge whatever comes out from your self-inquiries. It will help to know that you were not born with these beliefs so you can easily choose to change them. The intention is what matters.

In creating financial mindfulness for the family, it would be a great bonding experience for you and your partner to ask each other the questions above. Then come to an agreement about which beliefs you wish to keep and which ones you need to change so you will be on the same page when you start teaching your children about financial mindfulness. How soon is soon enough? When your toddler knows how to ask for things that need to be bought, then it is safe to introduce the difference between what we want and what we need as a springboard to financial mindfulness.

3. Practice Zero Judgment of Yourself and Others

Identify your needs and wants coming from a space of non-judgment. Avoid shaming yourself or your partner. Having established each other’s beliefs about money from the questions above, you can now be each other’s kind yet firm accountability cheerleader by helping to develop the healthy money shift you both need in order to ensure you stay the course. Remember there will be times when one or the other may slip, and that’s okay. Like all other habits, it takes 21 days for a new pattern to stick so find creative and fun ways to cheer each other on while you work at imprinting your new financially mindful habits as a couple.

4. Walk the Talk

Start making actionable financially mindful choices. For example, when your baby’s birthday comes around, learn to ask for helpful gifts from family and friends instead of accumulating more plastic toys. Create a list that would benefit your baby in the long term and also help to ease your budget.

Your Financially Mindful Choice: Start Today

In practicing financial mindfulness, you will learn that it is not about the situation but how you choose to see the situation that will make all the difference. You can choose to see the pandemic as a time when you are filled with uncertainties from the foreseen and unforeseen events that plague parents and feel anxious about it or you can choose to see this as the pivotal moment when you learned to think that no matter what is happening, it may be leading you to somewhere good and so it is happening for you and not to you.

One way to get to this is to secure insurance with a built-in investment facet that can help pave the way for one’s child while also serving as a method of covering unforeseen expenses (emergencies) and helping parents with their financial fears and anxieties.

FWD Babyproof is a practice in being financially mindful. It is being aware that you are doing your best in your current ability to prepare for what life brings, so you are able to enjoy the present and celebrate life in the knowledge that you are being purposeful in your intention to keep your promise to the tiny human you fell in love with at first sight. Visit the FWD Babyproof page today to learn more or talk to an FWD financial advisor.