by Jojie Garcia
To say that January 1, 2021 couldn’t have come faster enough is an understatement. After the roller coaster of a year that was 2020, the new year held an eager kind of hope, a divine lifeline that must mean something better is coming. But what if, surprise surprise, it is us who can bring our better selves to this new moment?
On January 23, Mommy Mundo, in collaboration with #BabyDovePH, launched its first event of the year: A New Way To Be: How to Evolve. Led by Kit Malvar Llamas and T. Jeannie Castillo, this timely talk imparted valuable lessons and reminders on how we can transform ourselves and our family relationships for the better.
Our beloved Mommy Mundo Community Program Director, Kit Malvar Llanas, started the session with the friendly warning “Be careful what you wish for”. Who didn’t wish once or twice before for traffic to disappear, to have extended sleep and wear pajamas all day, to just stay home and have lots of time to spare? But then the pandemic happened and all our wishes came true within a grim reality. What now?
While we’ve seen how the Mommy Mundo community rose to the challenge of adapting to, and even helping each other in the new normal, Kit gave the following encouraging reminders to help us reframe our mindsets so we can keep on evolving through this challenging season:
· Acknowledge where you are right now and be hopeful for a breakthrough. When Kit showed the DABDA stages and the phases of grief, the event chatroom lit up in agreement. 2020 was really a shared experience of loss and we all went through various versions and degrees of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. It’s quite helpful to be able to identify and recognize these valid feelings, as it takes out a lot of guesswork and confusion. It also affirms us that there is hope in the end, that breakthroughs happen, however challenging life may be. As Kit said, things may be tough, but we are tougher!
· Parenting is a spiritual partnership. With reminders from Gary Zukav (“A spiritual partnership is a partnership between equals for the purpose of spiritual growth.”), and Pierre Teilhard du Chardin (“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience.”), Kit emphasized how we must be more conscious of looking inwards, focusing on the essentials, and co-authoring stories with our children who are growing into their own selves too. Being their spiritual guide is not a matter of being older than them and knowing more than they do, as they have a lot to teach us about life as well. It means opening up ourselves to them as equals that they may be inspired to do the same; it means teaching each other important life lessons on the balance of holding on and letting go, as the Rumi quote goes.
· Be curious, coachable, present, playful, and flexible. Kit discussed each must-build parent attribute in detail, but they all highlighted the importance of being, of the present, of growing as persons so we can help our children grow too. When we are open to learning, we become coachable and coach-like to our children. When we practice how to be fully present through prayer and meditation, we grow in confidence, playfulness, and flexibility in our interactions with them. Kit closed her part of the talk with this stellar reminder: be first, to do more, and enjoy most!
Teacher Jeannie Castillo, the founding Director, Owner and Master Educator of Kindermusik in the Philippines, and also a Certified Neuro Development Movement Specialist, continued the session with greater focus on the human brain and how this knowledge can help parents nurture their children’s overall well-being. Here are some important takeaways from T. Jeannie’s informative presentation:
· It’s important to know our hardware. There is great value in understanding even just the basics of neuroscience, and T. Jeannie expertly explained how the brain works and how it commands our children’s growth and development. She also walked us through Paul McLean’s triune brain model (reptilian/ instinctive brain, mammalian/emotional brain, new/analytical brain) and the chronological stages of life that each kind figures prominently in. But while the brain is truly fascinating (imagine, a billion neurons sitting on top of our shoulders, an intricate universe of synapses that become our blueprint of the world!), T. Jeannie emphasized how heart connections affect brain connectivity. Nurturing our children lovingly and consistently literally lights up their brain, fires up connections, and allows for learning and experiences to have greater meaning. And so while we want our children to grow in knowledge and academics, we need to make sure first that we are keeping their brains healthy with steadfast relationships. (And hugs! Lots and lots of hugs!)
· Music is transformative. T. Jeannie’s talk was made richer by her singing and dancing breaks that we can actually do with our kids too! She mentioned how, in her experience as a music teacher, she has seen children grow and thrive when they have songs and movement as part of their learning routines. She also emphasized how important it is for parents to lead those musical moments with their children, and increasing the connection you build by maintaining eye contact with them, hugging and touching them, and for older kids, playfully doing song movements with them.
· SMILE, MOVE, and GROW! While these words are already great reminders, T. Jeannie gave helpful mnemonics in encouraging loving connections with our children, applying neuro-sensory-motor activities in our daily family life, and remembering general pointers for brain and holistic growth.
Learning from Kit and T. Jeannie was truly a joyful and hopeful experience! With their helpful reminders on new ways to be, it is even more conceivable for 2021 to be a year of significant evolution and transformation.
About the contributor
Jojie Perocho-Garcia has been an educator for 14 years now. She keeps her quarantine days busy with preschool and high school tutorials, reading, watching Kdramas, and being MamaJie to her husband Jeb and kids Alba (4yo) and Rogo (1yo). You may find her on Instagram and Facebook as @teachmomsy where she shares education tips, parenting reflections, and homeschooling highlights.
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