Mom Spotlight: Cris Villonco

To anyone who is even the slightest bit familiar with the Philippine theater scene, it would be hard to miss the fact that Cris Villonco is royalty. Having been performing onstage and onscreen since she was 9 years old, Cris has lent her deft touch to characters like Alice in “Closer”, Alison Bechdel in “Fun Home”, and Diana Goodman in “Next to Normal”. She has featured in countless other stage productions, along the way racking up a staggering number of awards. 

Her gift for storytelling extends behind the scenes as well. Cris is one of the founding members and producers of Red Turnip, a theater company dedicated to bringing emotionally powerful and thought-provoking material to Filipino audiences. In 2018, her directorial debut for the company’s production of “A Doll’s House Part 2” earned her the prized Philstage Gawad Buhay Award for Outstanding Direction. 

“I have always been grateful for my career journey. Never did I think I could be given so many great opportunities,” shares Cris, “And it’s funny because I didn’t really set out to do all these things in the first place. I always expected I would get married straight out of college. I was laughed at by my kabarkada in college, but I wanted that. Then, of course, it’s like God gave me something else first. I ended up immersed in the work I loved. I got more roles. I started producing shows. I eventually got married, but then still, I took on more projects. And maybe, I started being in denial. I started thinking that the life I want is the one with all the roles and the shows. I guess I kind of stayed in denial and didn’t think much about wanting the other side of things.” 

When the pandemic struck and the entire world was placed on pause, Cris found herself ultimately deciding that perhaps it was finally time to accept the one role she had always wanted – that of becoming a mother. Her husband, businessman Paolo Valderrama, was fully supportive of her plans.

“For purely selfish reasons, I decided to go for IVF. I was actually thinking— ‘Let’s have twins na para tapos na!’,” Cris shares, “But please, let me be the first one to say I was super arrogant and ignorant. I was so wrong! Hindi siya madali. The whole process became one the most challenging experiences my husband and I ever had to face as a couple in our 5 years of marriage.” 

It was during routine procedures right at the start of the IVF process that Cris discovered she had fertility issues. “Paolo was okay—in fact, they told us he was super! And as for me, it just hit me like a whole house of bricks when they said my egg reserves were next to nothing. Plus, they saw that that my AMH (Anti-Müllerian Hormone) Level was extremely low, so things did not look encouraging for me.” 

Months of check-ups, tests, and hormone treatments followed. “Since I live with bipolar disorder, it was also highly recommended that I wean off my medication before I even began IVF,” recounts Cris. “I had to wean off slowly for five months, and it was really tough. I would have headaches, backpains, and at one point, I even felt like my vision was failing.”

But Cris persevered and committed herself fully to the IVF process, convinced that if this was what was needed to realize her dream of a family, then she would somehow find the strength to see things through. “Like many other couples going through IVF, Paolo and I had to be super strict about everything if we wanted a chance at making this all work. Our schedules fully revolved around IVF for months,” Cris says. 

Their determination, however, was quickly met with tearful disappointment. After several unsuccessful procedures and a seemingly endless cycle of hopes raised and dashed, Cris felt it was time to let go. “It even got to a point where we were already in discussions with my doctor about surrogacy. It was a very painful time for us, and I felt I could no longer walk down this path.” 

Cris then launched herself on a journey toward wellness, setting her sights on embracing things as they come and working on healthy ways to love herself. She continued with her therapy sessions, and she allowed herself time to meditate. She also made sure there was space to strengthen her relationship with Paolo especially after their IVF journey. 

“And then time passed, and in January, we found out I was pregnant. So first we had the unexplained infertility – and now, here was this unexplained fertility!” Cris says. When pressed about what she thought made the difference, Cris giggled and proclaimed, “If I had to give credit to anything for this, I would probably blame it on ‘Bridgerton’!” 

The painful memories of the months before the pregnancy slowly started to fade. “I began to feel the most myself while I was pregnant. My therapist even told me after my second month that she could feel that I was more at peace. And I really feel that this was because this little one became my strength. As my baby got bigger, I would get gentle nudges from inside my tummy as reminders to breathe and stay calm.”  

This month, Paolo and Cris finally welcomed their first child into the world – a healthy baby boy they named Leonardo Mario Villonco Valderrama. “He’s named Leonardo after my beloved maternal grandfather, Atty. Leonardo Siguion-Reyna,” Cris remarks, “I have always looked up to him as a professional and most especially as a family man. I couldn’t think of a better tribute and reminder that he is always with us than naming my son after him. The second name ‘Mario’ is the name of both my dad and Paolo’s dad. But we’ve decided on our son’s nickname being ‘Leon’ – a nice, fierce name for this little warrior of ours that could.” 

“I don’t really have any advice to offer about motherhood because it’s so unique to each person and I am so new at this,” Cris says, “But I feel like the love and the kindness we give ourselves will make us healthy parents. I know that Leon may face many expectations, but I want to be able to show him that he can take things as they come. This is something even I continue to work on to this day. It’s important to me that he knows what truly matters, and the rest of the choices will follow – whether he wants to be an artist or an engineer or anything really. I just really want him to know that he is loved.”